What I’ve Been Learning Lately (WIBLL)
Well, this feels like a big moment.
I’ve made the decision to take my personal writing practice to the “public.”
I’ve made the choice to use this blog as I used to use my diary.
It’s scary to have this mindset — but, here I go!
One of the practices I would take in my private diary was to write what I had been learning lately in this school of life. I called this “What I’ve Been Learning Lately” or WIBLL for short.
Now that you know what WIBLL is, let’s dive in — shall we?
I’ve been learning that I need to work some more on self-love because when I am vulnerable and put myself out there, I am always so surprised when I see the people I care about cheer me on. I had to step back and wonder why I was surprised that others would want what is best for me. And then I realized it: I guess I don’t love myself enough to see how these other people see me.
Next up, sisterhood.
I entered into an intuition-building course by the lovely Nikki Novo. One of the first tasks was to connect with your spirit guide. I went in and connected (maybe more on that another time if anyone is curious). I asked my guide what I would get out of this course. I heard “sisterhood.”
Now that we’re coming to a close of this course, I am looking back at the journey and how I feel like I am a different person than I was when I started (which having a tool to measure my growth by a span of time made me realize a component I sort of miss about being in school).
The course was a component of this growth, definitely, but it also was a lot of things. And a lot of those things required some courage on my part. Courage to put myself out there to find my tribe.
I realized I wanted more friends when I watched a Bonny Rebecca video and saw her having dinner with her gal pals — they were discussing philosophy right along with Taylor Swift lyrics. While I could do without the Taylor Swift lyrics, I loved the juxtaposition of the conversation and the fact that this band of women found one another. I recognized it as something I wanted.
I wanted that connection. A group of friends where you sit comfortably in a circle and braid each others’ hair — where awkward silences are never awkward. I wanted that kind of friendship.
And then I found that.
I found a group of inspiring, strong, women that I talk to regularly. They help me to grow, they’re interested in my life, they listen. They value improving their lives, they value seeing the potential in themselves, they aren’t afraid to get “woo woo.” These. are. my. people.
Through this period, I’ve also realized how unbelievably blessed I have been with all the examples of sisterhood I have had in my life:
a friend that happens to be a sister, who mothered me with curse circles (LOL!) and always had a book available for me to borrow — who instilled my love of reading,
a friend that happens to be a sister that helps me to see the beauty of the next generation,
a friend I’ve had since childhood that somehow grew along beside me — a friendship that somehow managed to fit together during each stage,
a friend that was a cousin and enjoyed playing Sims with me and made our own plays together (#leoenergy),
a friend that talked me up when I was bullied in middle school (thank you, friend) and still talks me up each time I talk to her — who would meet up with me every Christmas over coffee,
a friend that drove us to visit our two college boyfriends in her green car she called kermit,
a friend that I met taking a geology class during one of the hardest periods of my life —she gave me the gift of being able to talk openly about how we were both going through a hard time,
a friend that started as a roommate first and I met through the actions of an apartment leasing agent,
a friend I made by visiting a beautiful mountain town and getting to be playful with her every time I see her — a woman I am so proud of because she is following her dreams and studying her ass off,
a friend that started as a coworker, who inspired me by deciding to open her own business and talked openly on how she wanted to work to be a better person for her kid when she became pregnant,
a friend that was my boss but ended up being my friend and who loves to write and Van Goh and followed her heart and moved to NY,
a friend I met at a women’s circle - when she smiled at me I immediately knew I wanted to be her friend, a magical woman with a peony tattoo sleeve who now owns a peony farm,
a friend I met at work who would make me laugh out loud during the workday and who I could read her mind after just knowing her for a few months,
a friend I met online that sends me voice messages (I never told you this, but I love that you do that) and appreciates a car with a flashy paint job and gives the best compliments,
a friend I managed to meet that lives on the other side of the globe that taught me what “quantum entanglement” was and who is also working on seeing herself as an artist,
a friend across the street who lets me see a bit more of the kind of mom I want to be and personifies “giving",
a friend that is the pen pal I wanted since childhood who is open and kind,
a friend that shared with me her own struggles with being bullied — that is going to make such an impact with her work,
a friend that encouraged me to get paid for intuitive readings and allowed me to believe in myself,
I am so unbelievably blessed by every single one of you humans. I love you all.